Sunday, March 15, 2009

It's Right Where I Left It

I realized in the last week or so the source of my heavy, down mood and feelings. What I realized was that quite simply I had disconnected from my self, my power and my love. I had been feeling angry, indignation, resentment and lack, for weeks at differing degrees. While I had been going through the motions with meditation, I had been letting my mind do whatever it wanted in my sessions and in between. Thought control was negligible. It's still amazing to me that if you don't bring some type of awareness into your daily life how the mind will absorb the negative in the world around you and all that to penetrate through your entire experience. And many of us could agree there's a huge focus on the negative right now, plenty for the mind to grab hold of and keep running with.
I also realized with a fleeting horror as I pulled up my blog that I hadn't made an entry in almost three months. How did that happen? Well Kate, you were disconnected. The startling thing was I hadn't even thought about my blog in that period. My blog has come to mean an outlet of creativity, a sense of urgency to express my connection with the world. Hmm. I can see the imbalance now so clearly.
So when I cleaned up the connection that will always be there, polished and wiped away the gunk I'd put on it, I felt better and better and better. And suddenly while washing my hair in the shower I remembered my desire to express this amazing connection through the beautiful picture I find to accompany my words, and found the words waiting as well. I also have found that the connection and peace is right where I left it.

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