I was playing tennis with my sister yesterday, and kept noticing that as soon as I relaxed and had fun my playing vastly improved and I'd be rewarded with a great shot- even if it was slammed back at me. I could just play in this place without thought and let my body and mind work their magic. As soon as I got frustrated by a misplaced shot or serve, I got "bunched up" and my game and attitude immediately deteriorated. I kept saying to Shannon, "I play so much better when I just relax". I must of said it two or three times and her response each time was, "Don't we all". I know this applies to every aspect of my life, and I don't doubt that you know this too. I know that I need the contrast of every frustrating annoyance in our life, and the fortitude and concentration to refocus on allowing, letting go and relaxing. This is a practice and art that I want to refine and keep in mind. Not always easy to remember or live, but the rewards come almost immediately if not in my immediate surroundings, but in how I feel. I feel better, and better and better- even if I'm starting from the worst of places.
I recently graduated from Bard College, and got a Master's Degree in Environmental Policy. I thought I knew what I was getting into when I started, and the experience quickly got away from me as I "bunched up" about grades, my intelligence compared to others, what I'd do with this degree, the expectations of others, and the biggest issue of the expectations I had of myself. Needless to say the first semester was miserable for me and those who tried their best to support me through this process. I found that when I came back from the semester break, that I didn't try to defeat myself by reading every extraneous journal article assigned, freak out by overwhelming myself by the big picture and I did much better grade-wise and my attitude improved. However, the lesson that replaced this one learned was being around the toxic attitudes of my classmates who chose to see the garbage in everything and not involving myself. At first I kept trying to readjust people by reframing the conversation, but found that this didn't work and others resented the interjection, and I felt pulled down in the process. I felt a tremendous relief when I came back to CO for my internship and had 7 months away from the situation. I came back in January to finish up my thesis and the semester went great- few glitches, more time and room to grow personally, and support from my advisor. This wasn't everyone's reality, but I made sure it was mine.
I've come back home and noticed that I have tried to repeat this same forcing of alignment and adjustment to my family. I have a clearer vision of myself and those I love, and I will always have challenges because I want to continue to grow and love. It can be difficult to not want to get others to see my new perspective and use it themselves. But I've watched my words and tone alienate and distance me and my love ones. My new focus is to be more impeccable with my words and as The Beatles so aptly coined the best way to interact with others... "Let it Be". It's truly more important to let people choose their own experience and if they want to know where my inspiration and joy is coming from, I can model it for them as best as I can which help us all. Minding my own business is my new mission for my interaction with others, and if I do offer an opinion to be impeccable with my words AND tone. How I say something is as important as my words.
I thought I'd add some quotes that helped and inspired me in this regard.
"Choose what feels good to you and leave everybody else to choose what they want. Don't spend any time saying, "They should choose differently and they'd feel better." Instead say, "They're choosing whatever they're choosing; I'm choosing what I'm choosing, and I'm feeling good while I'm choosing it." And let that be the end of it. Be certain that you are connected to your Source Energy, and let everybody else figure it out for themselves. Some of them will adore you, some of them will hate you -- and none of it has anything to do with you."- Abraham-Hicks.com
"The secret of the universe is minding your own business. What we mean by that is: Don’t get so involved in the desires or beliefs of others that it causes you confusion or chatter in your own vibration and compromises your alignment. When you let nothing be more significant than your own alignment with your desire, then everything in the universe is working in concert for you. It is anyway, but your not letting it in if you are misaligned." Abraham-Hicks
Relaxing and allowing- whew! What concepts!
My friend Steph and I have been on quite the journey these days. We were talking and processing all the recent changes in our lives, joking about how crazy it all feels when I had this image of a galloping horses scooping us up and riding away. I told her about this and she laughed and said "I was just stretching!". But the truth is, no matter how much we want change and things to go differently in a way that improves our lives for the better- when it does show up, it can be rapid, overwhelming and mind boggling. The funny thing is, she and I have been "preparing and asking for all of this". But my goodness it certainly showed up so quickly that we couldn't and didn't want to get out of the way of the galloping horse. Also, the manifestation of the new steps on our paths appeared so magically and nearly instantaneously that we barely had time to think about them- it was either act now, or say no thanks. 
