The Dragon and the Princess

I came upon this story while reading After the Ecstacy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield. It was a beautiful metaphor for the as Jack calls it, "entering the silence of the forest"...as we enter the beginning steps in our chosen spiritual practice.

"A traditional Swedish story gives a sense of the next phase of the journey. Because of the mishaps of her parents, a young princess named Aris must be betrothed to a fearful dragon. When the king and queen tell her, she becomes frightened for her life. But recovering her wits, she goes out beyond the market to seek a wise woman, who has raised twelve children and twenty-nine grandchildren, and knows the ways of dragons and men.

The wise woman tells Aris that she indeed must marry the dragon, but there are proper ways to approach him. She then gives instructions for the wedding night. In particular, the princess is bidden to wear ten beautiful gowns, one on top of another.

The wedding takes place. A feast is held in the palace, after which the dragon carries the princess off to his bedchamber. When the dragon advances toward his bride, she stops him, saying that she must carefully remove her wedding attire before offering her heart to him. And he too, she adds (instructed by the wise woman), must properly remove his attire. To this he willingly agrees.

"As I take off each layer of my gown, you must also remove a layer." Then, taking off the first gown, the princess watches as the dragon sheds his outer layer of scaly armor. Though it is painful, the dragon has done this periodically before. But then the princess removes another gown, and then another. Each time the dragon finds he too must claw off a deeper layer of scales. By the fifth gown the dragon begins to weep copious tears at the pain. Yet the princess continues.

With each successive layer the dragon's skin becomes more tender and his form softens. He becomes lighter and lighter. When the princess removes her tenth gown, the dragon releases the last vestige of dragon form and emerges as a man, a fine prince whose eyes sparkle like a child's, released at last from the ancient spell of his dragon form. Princess Aris and her new husband are then left to the pleasures of their bridal chamber, to fulfill the last advice of the wise woman with twelve children and twenty-nine grandchildren.

As in a dream, all the figures in such a story can be found within us. ...What this story reveals from the start is that the journey is not about going into the light. The forces of our human history and entanglement are tenacious and powerful. The path to inner freedom requires passing through them. Receiving grace, opening to illumination, becoming wise has not been easy even for the masters...

The first beauty is important to remember. But we must also remember the weeks of pain and considerable struggle that went before, and the years of practice that must follow. When we seek to open to the illumination of the divine, even if we know that the prince and princess will succeed in awakening, even if we can actually glimpse the sacred wedding, we cannot just go to the last page of the story and live happily ever after. We have to go through the great fear of marrying the dragon, the seeking of wise counsel, and the long process of releasing the painful habits we have clung to. It is the difficult, slow letting go that allows us to awaken from our enchancement."

I have been clawing off my scales, crying my own tears of pain along with the beauty of release. I wish you much love and strength as you release yours.

The False Peak

When I was nineteen, I climbed La Plata Peak with my boyfriend Alan and his mountain goat parents Bill and Gentry. La Plata is one of Colorado’s famous fourteen thousand foot elevation mountains, the 5th highest to be exact. For me, it was supposed to be a beautiful hike, for my compadres it was part of a goal, a mission, and a thing to be “bagged”. Looking back now, it was a fundamental difference in philosophy and experience that resulted in the diminishment of my good time.

I recently had an experience that reminded me of this hike. I have made a concerted effort of late to open my heart. I heard a lecture from Mile High church in the Denver area that inspired me to develop a new intention for this chapter in my life. It was to live with an undefended heart. I created some space by releasing with the Sedona Method and started to feel better and better. It’s amazing how creating such space and openness brings up a natural sense of courage. It wasn’t like one day I said –Hey! I feel like I can seize the day! It was just available to me, unblocked at the surface waiting for me to use it.
So one day recently I did just that. I had the emotional courage to put myself out there and someone picked up on it and I got a couple of dates. While I initially got swept away a bit in the enthusiasm and excitement of someone new, I realized fairly quickly that what I came upon was not what it appeared. When all those years ago I struggled up that wicked trail to La Plata, I came upon the summit. I remember feeling such overwhelming sense of relief in my body and mind as I sighed into knowing the work of getting there was nearly done. To my dismay, I was informed I had just encountered a false peak. It was as disappointing as it sounds. The summit was close, but I still had a ways to go. My most recent encounter with this rather fine gentleman was just like that. He fit the bill to 90+%. Some would be thrilled with that, pushing and cajoling it until you shaved off the edges and lodged that oval peg into the round hole.
I felt completely perplexed for days as to the purpose of this “close but no cigar” experience. One day I was pissed for hours, raging my anger at the universe that was obviously tricking and toying with me. Then I relaxed after speaking with my Zen’d out friend who held a sleeping newborn on her chest. The lesson for me is not to deal with the frustration of having more road to travel, nor the disappointment in meeting a great guy whose heart still happens to be smoking from the last woman who set it afire. I realized that this false peak was about building confidence in my ability to maintain and display my true self. I was honest, respectful and centered during the time I spent with this guy in a way I’ve never been before. No obsessing, fretting, molding myself to fit and show the “perfect Kate”, nor did I seek approval in whatever shape and form I could get it. I am now the woman I’ve wanted to become (at least in this area!) since I began my search for her. Thank goodness! So, no more resentment for this lesson, but gratitude for my journey that has brought me to a greater trust and love for myself.