Spring Renewal

I thought I might add a more relaxed and enlightened entry after my last ferocious chat. The storm has passed and luckily the dust has settled. I repaired any damage done and can appreciate the resiliency of my relationships with others.

I finally feel the sense of renewal and possibility that Spring has brought. I attended a lovely service at Mile High Church on Easter Sunday. I felt as if Roger Teel was talking directly to me as he spoke of letting getting go of the limitations I've placed on myself. I feel fresher and enthusiastic, and a lot more allowing. I don't have a strong need to write more, so I'll just enter a lovely quote and call it good.

"Appreciation and self-love are the most important tools that you could ever nurture. Appreciation of others, and the appreciation of yourself is the closest vibrational match to your Source Energy of anything ever witnessed anywhere in the Universe." ~Abraham-Hicks

Godzilla Attacks!

Do you ever feel like you've become the monster in this picture? Unapologetic, unbiddable and ungovernable? Well I have, and the gargantuan green nightmare came out this past weekend. How often is anger condemed for its destruction, and its influence in making others uncomfortable? When is a good thing, or should it be? I've pondered the role of anger in my life, and recently of its potential to assist or deter me during this current growth spurt. Growing up with a parent who functions in pain and anger has had an undeniable influence on me. I have grown to despise how anger came forth from me, the power it wielded, and how I felt like a victim to the raging Godzilla inside of me.

But as I work through some old programming and find my voice (even if it is a roar), I've found with the things I have felt defeated about, moving up into anger from a place of depression has been empowering. Now, granted my approach with those within my path isn't always well received, and I'm certainly not justifying any pain or hurt feelings I may have influenced. I am seeing however, that anger needs to be and is in intergral part of me moving into a new space of understanding. Anger is step two in the grief recovery process (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross is a genius). Depending on the subject, it's likely that I've skipped over this step, suppressing the demons- fearing they'd run off with me. My understanding is that if we skip steps in the process of grief, it's likely the areas that were not sufficiently expressed will find their ways out, usually in the form of dysfunction. Grief can permeate so much in our life-from the simplest disappointment to the most devasting loss. I think for the first time in my life, I am willing to give Godzilla a little "breathing" room. She needs to clobber and crash into the haunted houses where I've imprisoned myself. That kind of destruction can only be done with the crushing power of my supersized monster legs, fireballs pulled from my belly, and my swiping, slicing claws. I'm done having haunted houses full of ghosts and relics from the past. It's time to clear the path for lovely, new things to grow. And if it takes a 15 story tall , firebreathing lizard to do it, then so be it.