Ok, as most who know me can attest, I’ve been alone a lot and been searching a long time. Now that I stumbled across a fine man who matches me, things should be set for me right? Well, for those who have forgotten or are under the misguided assumption (definitely include me in this group) that a mate will make things perfect, we are sorely mistaken. Geez, now the work begins: Battling demons to be your friend and ally instead of an enemy, shining the light on your insecurities so they dissipate, staying open, letting go of the gripping fear that can accompany being open, staying balanced and caring to yourself, being honest no matter how the other person reacts, doing best to keep your hands off the window you used to throw yourself out of…It’s exhausting. I’ve even had the strangest manifestations lately. While laughing and having a good ol’ time, a wasp flew into the car I was in to sting me on my lower inner thigh! Zowie-- that was a damper to the fun! Not to mention when I looked up the symbolism of a wasp, it was to maintain direct communication with honesty and clarity. Have I not been doing that? I certainly don’t think I needed an itchy, red and angry sting to pull me into that realization.It really is amazing how the body reacts to change and stress. Systems go haywire so that you have to address the obvious imbalance—incessant fantasies, curiosity and an overall lack of presence, too much food, booze, lack of personal time, combined with the killer combo of lack of sleep and too much romping. Few people would not have to put the vessel in dry dock for repair. It is a great reminder to take care of the one person that should matter the most to us, ourselves. If we don’t tend to our own feelings, get out of balance and spin into dysfunction, we have nothing left to give others. Maintaining our drive for our own satisfaction in life is so important. Projects and passions that once inspired us should not be set aside for anything-- for these are where we are reminded of our true selves, our creativity is set free, and we offer more to the world than just a partnership with another (no matter how powerful that may be).
