Following the fruit loops

I was telling my friend early today, that I feel like the universe is leading me on a path lined with fruit loops. Obviously an incentive I need to keep following the way I've choosen for myself and am co-creating with the universe. I had originally referred to the experience as a bread crumb trail, but the power of the Hansel and Gretl story still has a negative sway for the child in me. I liked the image of Boo from Monsters, Inc following the fruit loops trail, and I can even hear her crunch as I write this.

I've discovered one of the great challenges in my life (and many I suppose) is being consistent with faith. Trust is a sticky one in this society. We are taught to fear nearly everything, and being in the professional field I am in (environmental policy), many choose to convey urgency through fear and worst case scenarios. But once I get right with myself, it feels easier to let go of the "we're all screwed" philosophy in favor of the "everything is alright". Notice I didn't say will be or should be or can be, but rather -is. I'm not writing in this blog only to document the times I feel high while trying to implement the spiritual principles highlighted from The Secret and Abraham, but to speak of how I feel after coming through my rough spots.

I felt heavier yesterday and was challenged by negative thoughts all this morning. I was feeling, to a certain degree, dread for a meeting I had with my advisor to go over the first rough draft of my thesis. I had taken a break from working on it since Friday when it was due, and had observed others struggling with the deadline and feeling bad. I worried here and there that I hadn't worked hard enough, felt guilt, and worried she'd tell me that the whole thing sucked and needed some major overhaul. I still made a concerted effort to nip these thoughts, turning away any true focus on them, but they did exist. I met with her this afternoon and she hadn't had a chance to read my paper yet. I almost got irked at this, but chose not to. She actually had read it through once, but hadn't made comments on it. So instead of having a conversation about the details, she let me tell her my concerns and walked me through my feelings about it. It turned out that I got every validation I needed from her. She told me I was the only one to have met her deadlines, that I had obviously done a lot of work, and that we'd get through the sections that I felt needed strengthening. She helped me face another fear I had about sharing my document with my 3rd reader (even though that's what she's there for!). I left her office feeling wonderful-relieved, encouraged and inspired. Granted I still have to go back for the review, but she provided me what I needed THEN. I emailed the pertinent sections to my 3rd reader and will be able to get feedback from her as well. Goodness! It amazed me. I was also encouraged that the little bit of worrying I had done didn't manifest into this monsterous experience that instantaneously bit me on the ass.

There just might be something to this! ;) Onwards and upwards.