I feel like the concept and practice of trusting is a near continuous theme in my blog entries. But trusting is like exercising to stay in shape-you have to keep doing it. If you take a vacation from it, you'll find the weight of your own drama stuck to your ass.

I recently experienced my first true test of resolve regarding my job situation and trust. In my field there are so many amazing organizations doing good work on behalf of the environment. My practice up to this point has been to apply for jobs that sounded interesting, challenging, inspiring and might pay more than annual student loan payments. The challenge here is that many companies do not list what their salary ranges are so I end up applying for cool positions that don't pay squat. Thankfully the energy and momentum surrounding my job search has substantially picked up recently. I got an interview with Carbon Fund, this hip carbon offsetting non-profit in DC. I was thrilled. Thrilled, until I got a call back 5 minutes after setting up the interview asking me how much I wanted to make. So we danced around the number for a bit until I got it-and was crestfallen. It was nearly $20k less than my ideal. The problem with a drought is that the first sign of water makes ones mouth itch with anticipation, no matter what the water looks like. Is it safe, clean, enough to quench your thirst? In this case I knew better. I was so grateful this gentleman was upfront and honest with me about the compensation. I only had the interview for 5 minutes, not having any real time to become attached to it with expectations and thrills of what could be. So I closed the door, with gratitude for his and my own integrity and truthfully, with disappointment and some mild anxiety. The universe continued to test me by sending a rejection letter a few hours later for a job I had already interviewed for. I had detached mostly from that one, but I'll admit I flinched. Now is the time to relax into my understanding of how things work and remain clear and trusting that everything truly is fine and enough right now. I spend so much time trying to change my reality, I know I'm missing the great moments that are presenting themselves in each moment. I got this awesome quote from the Hicks' yesterday. It really encompasses it all.

"Every single person on the planet and every single Consciousness in the Universe has the same experience of being here and having a desire to be there. In other words, it is the promise of this eternal Universe… You’re always, always, always going to be on your way to something more—always. And when you relax and accept that, and stop beating up on yourself for not being someplace that you’re not, and instead, start embracing where you are while you keep your eye on where you’re going—now life becomes really, really, really fun." Abrabram-Hicks